“Sex at the Barre”: SquadCare + SYLK

SYLK teamed up with SquadCare – an online platform for women to find their squad, learn from mentors of all different areas for overall life success, and build an extravagant future at their first pop up event, “Sex at the Barre”, which was a huge success! The pop up was hosted at Pure Barre Scottsdale and started with a fun and sweat-inducing barre workout followed by a Sex Talk with SquadCare’s SEXpert – Molly Foley (@mollyandlove). Molly made sure to create a calm, safe environment for the ladies to open up and talk about a very important and real subject – SEX! Women were asked to anonymously write some sex questions as discussion/talking points – if one girl has a question, she is definitely not alone! Here are the top 5 Q & A’s from SquadCare’s “Sex at the Barre” with Molly Foley:

What is the best/easiest way to have an orgasm?

Molly: “There isn’t a best way or easiest way to orgasm because we are all so different! If you want to know and understand your body more, masturbation is the best way to figure out what you the best. Being able to know what feels good or doesn’t feel good will help you and your partner guide you to an orgasm in bed. If you don’t understand how your body works, it is even harder to communicate your needs in bed to your partner.

Women can orgasm in three different ways: sexual intercourse (g-spot), clitoris, and anally. Using toys, lube (SYLK), fingers, etc. can help you reach climax faster or slower. This can come into play how long you do roleplaying, oral sex, and sexual intercourse (vaginally and/or anally). All in all, you have to love yourself before you can love another. This applies to orgasming because if you don’t know what works for you, how can you let your partner know what works for you. Love yourself and your lady bits! Your partner loves when you let them know what works and doesn’t work because they want you to have full pleasure just like you want them to have full pleasure as well.”

How the heck can I orgasm when he finishes so quick?

Molly: “It can be difficult when your partner finishes before you, and you miss out on having that final climax pleasure. In these types of situations, I would recommend doing what you can to climax first! I would take your time with role playing, oral sex, toys, or whatever is needed for you to climax before he does. The overall experience will be more mutually fulfilling if you are first to orgasm and then he orgasms thereafter at his own pace. Make sure there is no blame or fault assigned if one finishes before the other—do what you can to make it a team effort! To reach full pleasure, communicate your needs explicitly.”

Is it bad that I feel I can express my love for my partner better in other actions besides sex?

Molly: “Not at all! Each person expresses love in various ways. It is important to communicate that to your partner. Expressing love can be in a form of acts of service (doing dishes, cleaning the house), physical touch (having sex, kissing), quality time (watching movies, going on dates), receiving gifts (getting jewelry, flowers), and words of affirmation (saying I love you, you are beautiful). I would recommend reading the book, The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This book explains how each person expresses love differently, and you can take a quiz to see which one you are! This is a great way to bring attention to you and your partner about how love should be expressed, so that each one of you feels it the way you understand it.”

How do you stay honest about sex with your partner and avoid hurting their feelings?

Molly: “Being able to be fully honest with your partner can be tough, if not approached in a compassionate way. The compassion comes from knowing both of you can receive and hear what the other is expressing, and not feel attacked or guarded. This goes back to feeling vulnerable enough to let your partner know your true inner feelings, and vice versa. The way I approach my partner is to say how it makes me feel, or how it is affecting me. Making it about you and not what they did wrong lowers both guarded shields revealing an opportunity to see each other and receive each other more openly. For example, if my partner likes to show overt displays of public affection and I don’t, I would take this approach:

‘I know you are only doing this because you want to show me love. However, I don’t feel comfortable with you grabbing my butt in public because it makes me feel the whole world has entered out private space. I appreciate you showing me your affection, and I want you to understand that I just want us to be private — you are my person, and I am your person, no one else needs to be involved.’

This example shows that I am praising them, seeing them do something nice for me, and still having them understand that it disrupts me in a negative way. You can reference the Love Languages that you would rather have them say you are beautiful instead of touching you in public to express that love.”

What are new ways to continue to grow sexually in a long term relationship?

Molly: “Long term relationships are a great way to grow sexually. Sometimes people in long-term relationships sometimes feel like they are in a rut or a loop of a daily routine. The way to exit this negative cycle is to open up to your partner about your feelings. Figure out what is causing you both to have your armor on, and be able to receive the others emotions and understanding of how to take the armor off. Long term relationships get so used to each other, which is a good thing, but why stop putting in effort? We get caught up with daily challenges, struggles, and curve balls. It is important to be there for your “team member”. Hear them. See them. Be with them. What was it like to first meet your partner? What feelings did it create inside of you? Once you can remember and communicate your needs and wants to your partner, the armour will be taken off, and experimenting will begin. Connecting with your partner, and understanding you both are on the same team, will help you score!”

Huge thank you to all of the women who showed up to get their sweat on, talk sex, and get comfortable with the uncomfortable! Ladies: if you have not checked out SquadCare – sign up to their mailing list and keep up to date on how to be your BEST self!

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*https://www.sylkusa.com contains general information about medical conditions and treatments. The information is not advice, and should not be treated as such.The statements made in this blog are not to be taken in place of medical advice. If you are experiencing pain, discomfort, or the like, always seek consultation and help from a medical professional.You must not rely on the information on https://www.sylkusa.com as an alternative to medical advice from your doctor or other professional healthcare providers. If you have any specific questions about any medical matter you should consult your doctor or other professional healthcare provider. If you think you may be suffering from any medical condition you should seek immediate medical attention. You should never delay seeking medical advice, disregard medical advice, or discontinue medical treatment because of information on https://www.sylkusa.com

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