Let’s face it, feeling self confident and sexy can be really difficult. When it comes to being physically intimate with someone, it can difficult to be open and vulnerable. Conversely, some of the most confident people can still get bedroom anxiety. Regardless of your relationship status, many factors can have a significant impact on a person’s quality of life in the bedroom. Understanding contributing factors of sexual anxiety as well as sexual confidence and feeling sexy are great steps to help you ignite the passion between the sheets!
If you slow down the pronunciation of intimacy, you get “in-to-me-see.” With sexual intimacy, you are opening up to someone on a level that, to be fully enjoyed, requires a parallel level of trust. So if you have a hard time trusting your partner or if the trust isn’t there at all, your sexual experience will be significantly impacted. Communicating with your partner about what you like and don’t as well as their likes and dislikes, can help establish trust and ease bedroom anxiety from the very beginning.
There’s no better aphrodisiac than feeling like you look good and of course, actually feeling good. If you have been avoiding your gym routine, not eating that well, and sleep has become a commodity, of course you aren’t going to feel confident about stripping down and getting intimate. Sometimes the ability to feel sexy and have sexual confidence has little to do with sex at all. It can be extremely difficult to “get in the mood” and feel sexy when you’re mind is on 100 other things, you’re stressed and exhausted. It’s important for you to make time, to take time for yourself. Get active, start eating well, occasionally skip your nightly TV time and go to bed early, take a yoga class, meet your friends for a quick glass of wine to unwind, journal about your feelings, take YOU time! Give yourself (and your partner) that gift and it will payout additional dividends in the bedroom.
Media and pornography both contain extremely unrealistic depictions of intimacy and sex. A perfectly airbrushed woman who doesn’t need foreplay and can have a screaming orgasm without clitoral stimulation having sex in Olympic gymnastic style positions and simultaneously Cuming after intercourse with a rock hard, for-ever-lasting, perfectly muscular and chiseled man is nothing more than fantasy-based “entertainment”, not at all reality.
Celebrities have glam squads that make their skin and hair look perfect along with photoshop and ideal lighting, again not reality. Don’t compare yourself to these fantasy- based depictions of perfection nor your 437 seemingly perfect Facebook Friends. No one is perfect, so setting that standard for yourself is a recipe for bedroom gloom. Aspire to be the best version of you. Look in the mirror, and take note of what you find sexy. You’ll be surprised by how much you really love your body if you only focus on the beauty.
People often feel anxious about sexual interactions because they view sex as something that they’ll be personally judged about. So they tend to self-evaluate their performance as it’s happening. Avoid over thinking by relaxing your body and focusing on the sensations of being with your partner. Notice how your partner responds to you, how they feeling, how they taste, this can be incredibly sexy for both partners. 99% of people prefer quality versus longevity (and we still think it’s because the other 1% didn’t know what they were doing). A good orgasm can take all of two minutes, and 80% of women need some sort of clitoral stimulation rather than penetration.
To assist in bringing sexy and confidence back to your bedroom, establish a level of trust and have open communication with your partner. Be honest about your likes and dislikes and make sure you are clear in theirs. Make your physical and mental health a priority and take YOU time! Acknowledge the unrealistic expectations and unattainable physical and sexual depictions in mainstream media and pornography. Know that sex is messy, sweaty and often awkward whether it’s your first time or your thousandth. Relax, have fun, let go of your insecurities, focus on your partner’s pleasure and the sensations you are feeling, get the SYLK Lube out and just enjoy!