Let’s Talk Sex with Dr. Lori C. Ebert
Dr. Lori Ebert – “On a Sextacular® mission of world peace, one orgasm at a time!”
The Universe has a funny way of knowing who we should meet and when!
Which is exactly what happened when I met Dr. Lori C. Ebert, Health Educator and Sexual Wellness Coach. We connected out of the blue, after multiple contacts referred us to each other in the same week. Within a few days we met face-to-face – both of us in awe of the serendipity and clear working together was meant to be.
Dr. Lori is vibrant soul with a true passion for helping people live healthier lives, which is why we instantly connected through a common mission: to educate and help spread awareness about sexual wellness and to make the uncomfortable…well, comfortable.
She started her own business eLife! Enterprises, LLC and is founder of Sextacular® coaching and programs that work with men and women to feel a deeper connection to themselves and others. Dr. Lori also hosts her own weekly online-radio show and iTunes podcast Sextacular®YOU! Earlier this year, she gave a TEDx talk called “How Orgasms Make World Peace Possible!” This woman is on a mission!
When it comes to talking about intimacy, sexuality or anything behind the bedroom doors, Dr. Lori has a gift for helping even the most closed-off of people open up about a topic that many deem “awkward, uncomfortable, or invasive” to discuss.
So, I sat down with Dr. Lori to find more about how she came into her passion and how Sextacular® is changing people’s lives.
M: How did you get into the sexual wellness space?
“It was very serendipitous while teaching at the University of New Mexico. I was teaching the basic health class and found it just as easy to teach sexuality as I did wellness, nutrition, etc.
My classes got popular very fast and while teaching sexuality subjects I started noticing attitudes and behaviors in the students, specifically athletes and ethnic populations. That lead me to study why and eventually research Black male athletes and sexuality. I found it was the greatly underserved in the literature, highly negative and stereotypical. I wanted this population to be heard and understood.
It was so easy for me to talk about sex and it still is! I have no judgment and hold the intention for people to be healthy. I think this is why people find it easy to share their most intimate secrets. Really, it picked me more than I picked it!!”
M: How did you go from classroom to Sextacular®?!
“My career started in higher education and stayed there because I am a teacher at heart. I love education – I’ve wanted to be a teacher my whole life, I just didn’t know it’d be about sexuality!
I had the opportunity to advance my career and work at executive and corporate levels to improve the education system, write programs, develop leaders, Deans, Campus Presidents and even run small colleges.
But my heart and soul was invested in people being sexually well, I just didn’t know how to do it. While participating in some deep personal development in 2007 I created a mission for my life – to eradicate sexual violence, disease and death. It was HUGE and I had NO IDEA how to do it.
I figured the best way to start was to start talking about it! I created Dr. SexTalk® a side business and started talking! I did guest radio shows, talks at ASU, private schools, private parties, adult intimacy stores and talked anywhere anyone would have me!
As both my career and side business grew, my soul got more restless to live my passion. By 2011 I knew this is what I wanted to do. I just had no idea how to leave a successful, six-figure income career in higher education to talk about SEX!
So I started planning and preparing. I also saw that while it was easy for ME to talk about sex, the world wasn’t so ready for Dr. SexTalk®. People wanted sex info but they also weren’t healthy, happy or connected to have it in a nourishing way. So I created Sextacular® – Healthy, Sexy Ecstasy to Make Love to Life©!
In 2013, on a leap of faith I left my career to be an entrepreneur and bring Sextacular© alive in the world. I’ve been doing it and living it ever since!”
M: Wow, that’s really awesome of you.
So, talking about sex and intimacy can sometimes be difficult for some people. How do you break that barrier and get people to talk about sex in a positive way about health and wellness?
“I just have FUN! I hold no judgment and talk about it the same way I talk about food! It only has a charge and shame if we give it that.
I use a lot of humor and sensitivity so I can tell what a person, client, group or large crowd needs and can cater how I deliver information in a way they can receive it!”
M: What is your favorite part about being a sexual wellness expert and coach?
“There are so many!
As a sexual wellness expert, I love being able to talk about what most people aren’t comfortable talking about. I like bringing ease, freedom and fun to difficult topics that are natural so everyone can be healthy and fully self-expressed.
My personal mission is to cause world peace – one orgasm at a time! Mostly because I can’t think of a more fun way to do it! In order to do that however, it requires changing the negative, shameful conversations of sexuality in the world. This is what wakes me up every day and keeps me awake at night.
As a coach, my absolute favorite is watching a couple resolve a breakdown and get present to the deep love they have for each other. It’s an indescribable moment to witness the deep pains, vulnerability and love shared between two people. It’s a gift every time I witness it and it has changed me. I revere this gift with great humility.”
M: How do you distinguish Sextacular from others in the space?
“Sextacular is about optimal sexual wellness. It’s about being sexually WELL at ALL levels of health – social, physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual and financial.
When I work with clients we work in ALL these areas because sexuality is a part of who we are and we cannot ignore or silo any of these areas.
I want clients to have a solid foundation to express themselves, which starts with good health. As a Health Educator, I already know we are not healthy in this country and I want to address that! Besides, we all know great sex is easier with great health!
When we have great health and sex we feel sexy and I believe with that energy ANYTHING is possible. So I want people to feel sexy! That is how you “Make Love to Life!”.
I can easily be in the world talking about standard sex topics… orgasms, G-Spot, oral, STD’s, etc. but that is easy. I want people to be healthy, present and slow down to have a conscious sex life that is enriching, rejuvenating and erotic beyond anything they can imagine! At the end of the day, I just want people to have the deep connection, intimacy and passion they desire.”
M: What is something that many people want to know but are sometimes too intimidated to ask?
“1. How to have better orgasms or be a better lover.
2. How to use intimacy toys.
3. How to have more, better or multiple orgasms.
4. Why are women crazy? Why can’t I get a man to do what I want him to do?
People are most frustrated by trying to understand the opposite sex or their partners in relationships. Talking about masculinity and femininity in relationship is actually quite fun and funny! Bottom line, most people don’t know how to ask for what they need and want in the bedroom because of their vulnerability, issues or they aren’t fully self expressed.”
M: What are three key ideas/tips to “Unleash Your Sexy”?
“1. You have to FEEL good to get and give pleasure! So I start with self-care – take care of YOU! Sleep, eat well, meditate, exercise, get sunshine, offer gratitude everyday, smile, give love anywhere you can and stop to smell the roses.
2. Our bodies are meant to be enjoyed! Discover the pleasure of your own body via your senses! There are a million ways to do this it just takes conscious effort.
3. Step outside your box! No pun intended! We have to maintain, nurture, grow and fertilize our sex lives just like we do a garden! It would be no fun to grow the same carrots for 20 years. Plant a new kind! Or a different vegetable.
That would be like eating tacos for the rest of your life for every meal. Switch it up and have sushi! Try new things! For some that is just a new position, for others they try a hedonistic cruise! It doesn’t matter – wherever you are is fine, just stretch yourself.”
M: Thank you so much, Dr. Lori! You are a seriously awesome human with an incredible talent.
“Thank YOU!! I have this incredible opportunity because of amazing people and companies like SYLK! None of this is me, it’s the Universe working through me. I’m just lucky I get to be on the ride and watch people experience more love as they get deeper connections to themselves and others. I’m the lucky one and feel grateful for my blessings everyday.”